“Drunk women sure talk a lot before they cry.” — @AinsleyofAttack

Apparently Jason Aref has trouble learning a lesson about stealing other people’s content.

First he had his Twitter account suspended but he continues to steal content from Twitter (most recently, the tweet shown above) and post it to Facebook.

This is a violation of the Facebook TOS and should be reported to Facebook by @AinsleyofAttack (If you’re reading this, email me at tweetthief at gmail and I can send you screenshots/more info).

You are one terrific lay. Do you have a sour cream & onion sister?

http://twitter.com/smilinbjones/status/3628798556

http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3672471210

If you are the original author who has been ripped off: Follow these instructions if you want to help get TheTNSituation to either delete these updates or get his account suspended: http://tweetthief.tumblr.com/post/176402291

With the right standards, most foods pair nicely with grape soda.

http://twitter.com/lonelysandwich/statuses/1830825540 (5:39 PM May 17th from Birdhouse)

http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3668198683 (2009-08-31)

“I gotta get me some more shirts with words on them.”

http://twitter.com/mayafish/status/3616462494

TheTNSituation must have really liked this, because he stole it TWICE:

• http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3668212886
• http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3671930838

Follow these instructions if you want to help get him to either delete these updates or get his account suspended:

http://tweetthief.tumblr.com/post/176402291

“Theory: No one who owns a vagina has ever bought 1-ply toilet paper more than one time.”

http://twitter.com/EffingBoring/status/3637552673

http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3671352140

@EffingBoring: Follow these instructions if you want to help get him to either delete these updates or get his account suspended.

continued from part 1

1. Well, these puppies aren’t going to kick themselves. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2788650615

2. I love this time of year and the reappearance of all that fresh summer produce I pretend I’m going to eat. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2786345283

3. The road to good hair is paved with bad extensions. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2785232817

4. honey is “bee slavery”. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2784810147

5. If you can’t picture me as a firefighting man with a mustache and smoochy lips, you aren’t trying hard enough. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2784411564

6. I reverse-engineered a Fleshlight and a vibrator and found a way for people to go fuck themselves. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2782952608

7. What I thought was a turkey and cheese sandwich is actually a tuna and cheese. I’d rather wash my eyes out with soap than eat this. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2782440419

8. Yes, we all give them nicknames. I call mine The Entertainment Capital Of My Pants. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2781944480

9. I don’t need any new friends. I barely have time to talk behind the backs of the ones I have. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2781277554

10. Her: “How do you like your coffee?” Him: “Awesome. Like my face.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2780798562

11. Fuck you, little sticker on my apple. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2780379498

12. Going with an extra teaspoon of leaves in the green tea this morning. Living life like a firecracker; quick is my fuse. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2779710428

13. Leave your non-wobbly table and I’ll take it before you can say Skinny VentiMocha Latte extra hot,double-cupped instead of a sleevy thing. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2779647228

14. I do less before 9 AM than some people do all day. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2779127503

15. I cut my toenails and now my shoes fit SO much better. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2765264694

16. Glad I hired a psychic, last year, to talk to my cat. Knowing Mr. Wiggles was a Republican made it easier to “let go” when he got run over. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2763870152

17. Apathetic is too strong of a word. But I really don’t care what you call me. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2763826737

18. .gninrom siht sdrawkcab no niarb ruoy tup uoy taht tpecxe ,yadseuT rehto yna ekil yltcaxe si yadoT http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761835753

19. Sure, at first you love your Bose surround sound. And then you watch some movies where people knock on doors. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761437380

20. We are all the same and we all think the same. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761144025

21. And we all have to deal with it. So speak your mind whenever you want to and it might make the world a better place. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761119532

22. I speak my mind not because i’m not scared….but because I know it exists. This is the world that we are living in. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761107368

23. whitebread, honky. Camel jockey, tent-head, soggy Arabian, gas-ass, dune coon. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761092906

24. Clip-tip,Jig, coon, fishmouth, soot-back, shitskin, boy. Wetback, beaner, chili-dipper, taco turd, flap hat, scratch-back. Whitey, cracker, http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761082404

25. Zipper head, Chink, slant, ching-chong Chinaman, yellow peril. Yid, kike, sheeny, Hebe, nickel-nose, knife-nose, gabardine stroking mockey, http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2761030012

26. You can’t spell cruel motherfucker without Elmo. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2759104202

27. “I have a lot to offer you, baby,” says the man emerging from a bar at 12:30 in the afternoon. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2753062216

28. I like the idea of liking the idea better than I actually like the idea. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2748265261

29. “Your new nickname is Moses.” “Why?” “Because you could dry up the Red Sea with the amount of tampons in this closet.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2747914060

30. Taking a Twitter break. Ten days or ten minutes. Whichever comes first. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2747884681

31. @jeremypiven tie a waterjug to the back of your neck and run down the stairs. Works for me. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2746942932

32. The word “tsunami” is not in my phone’s T9 dictionary, so if you ever get a text from me that says “Trumang!”, get the fuck off the beach. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2745651986

33. I quite possibly have snagged the sweetest girl ever. Sry fellas. I’m keeping her. I’ve already peed on her leg. Ok not really. But still. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2745163989

34. If a kid points at a cloud & says “Look a bunny!” You should point at the next one & say”Look,a stupid kid who thinks a cloud is a bunny!” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2743614658

35. “Nothing beats wal mart’s unbeatable prices”. Someone get that marketing team a redundant trophy award medal. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2740799559

36. If only they had purchased baby Einstein dvds, their kids would never have never wound up on Jerry springer. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2740339429

37. My life is like “The fugitive”. Only instead of killing my wife I stole someone else’s Egg McMuffin at the drive through window. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2740279378

38. @jeremypiven …No Memphis date? You would sell at least 200 tickets! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2727502492

39. @officialTila ….yea fo sho Tila….we jus crazy and stuff. Can’t take us nowhere! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2727477764

40. A little extra effort today means they won’t find the body tomorrow. -Ben Franklin http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2725839006

41. I’m going to hit the hay. Because I hate hay. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2725357859

42. If she was one in a million…and there are a 6 billion people on this planet…that means there are 6 thousand more just like her. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2706279874

43. What I’m thinking: “You syphilitic whore.” What I’m saying: “Nice to see you too!” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2699188401

44. I keep my porn in a folder called “Pom” because it looks like “Porn” and I’m silly. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2697885902

45. I bet other planets are really jealous that we were picked to host Jesus. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2697352252

46. I’ve got two tickets to paradise. Pack your bags; we’ll leave in a little while. I don’t see why you have to be so goddamn impatient. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2696823220

47. I take exception to the phrase “useless as a bag of dicks.” A bag of dicks can be quite useful. As a warning to others, for instance. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2696728486

48. I don’t trust owls in sleeveless dress shirts. Just a long-standing policy of mine. Sorry http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2694904704

49. SITUATION has been open 1 year and is Voted BEST BOUTIQUE in Memphis, TN. We have the most loyal customers in the city! Thank You http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2683725400

50. Out of appreciation for the cheap toilet paper, I am wittling a dildo for her out of scrap wood from the back yard. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2659935413

51. OMG you guys it’s almost pl:ea:se SH/UT/UP. This only happens once every time you keep bringing it up, so make sure you don’t miss it! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2652900703

52. When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I’m single again. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2652463320

53. I think Larry King’s suspenders are holding his legs on. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2573774939

54. When I smiled sweetly at her and said, “What is that lovely perfume you’re wearing SO MUCH OF?”..the husband laughed and shook my hand. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2528145159

55. This gal next to me smells so bad. I wonder what she’s doing later. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2508869229

56. I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building. I changed my mind @the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2443654812

57. I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. I listen to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2443223469

58. We were so broke when I was growing up! If I wasn’t a boy I’d have nothing to play with! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2441669709

59. I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2441657586

60. I filled out an application that said, “In Case Of Emergency Notify”. I wrote “Doctor”… What’s my mother going to do? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2440313913

61. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving ain’t for you. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2439044970

62. Yo momma so fat when I swerved to avoid hitting her on the road, I ran out of gas http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2438423611

63. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2436293015

64. Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money’s on the bus! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2330776265

65. EVERYTHING in the Entire Store 50% OFF Friday,Saturday & Sunday! Every Brand & Every Item including Sale Items! ALL 50% OFF THREE DAYS ONLY! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2128027835

66. EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE STORE is 50% OFF this Fathers Day Weekend! Friday, Saturday & Sunday! SITUATION in Wolfchase Galleria Mall http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2122772639

67. Fix Your Face http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2120744353

68. A day without sunshine is like night. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2092510018

69. The more you complain the longer God makes you live. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2092496246

70. Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2092170078

71. Love your enemies.. it pisses them off. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2092116882

72. lWhen I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2091789036

73. EVERYONE go to MemphisMost.com and vote SITUATION as the BEST BOUTIQUE! (page 8 of the ballot). Do it, it will make your teeth whiter!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2031531988

74. http://www.tonym302.com/uploads/MISC/blueragerevenge.gif http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2019747402

75. EVERYONE go to MemphisMost.com and vote SITUATION as the BEST BOUTIQUE! (page 8 of the ballot). Do it, it will make your teeth whiter!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2018860260

76. UGLASS http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2018189076

77. Sick moves to take care of an armed person! http://bit.ly/10yvHG http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2008212092

78. CNN Anchors Discuss Obama’s “Swagga” http://bit.ly/aXS9S http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2008148564

79. $27 Million Drug Bust in Mexico - Biggest In History http://bit.ly/YxvgJ http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2008124130

80. OMG?! Child smoking in China? http://bit.ly/sF4PR http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2008104357

81. INSANE! 19 FOOT PYTHON CAUGHT WITH BARE HANDS! http://bit.ly/czXbB http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2007948926

82. EVERYONE go to MemphisMost.com and vote SITUATION as the BEST BOUTIQUE! (page 8 of the ballot). Do it, it will make your teeth whiter!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1994843068

83. EVERYTHING IN STORE IS BUY 1 GET 1 HALF OFF! INCLUDING CLEARANCE ITEMS! THIS WEEKEND ONLY! Situation-Wolfchase Galleria Mall http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1973193280

84. NEW $29 Mens Boots just arrived! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1954072537

85. EVERYONE go to MemphisMost.com and vote SITUATION as the BEST BOUTIQUE! (page 8 of the ballot). Vote over and over until you pass out!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1941861790

86. BLAH BLAH BLAH http://whomovedmyshoes.blogspot.com/ http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1941030585

87. Top 10 Bad Hollywood Boob Jobs http://bit.ly/6IIe3 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1940140291

88. cloud for sale on Ebay http://bit.ly/18iTiS http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1940087119

89. No Sex in Hospitals, Nurse Fired http://bit.ly/yjukU http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1939964822

90. Radio Canada rapped for Obama assassination joke http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE54O48020090525 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1939845398

91. Priest fired for beating drug addicts http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE54Q42Z20090527 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1939620660

92. Cash flies out of convertible on motorway http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE54D3PY20090514 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1927457715

93. Woman beaten up over asparagus prices http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE54H5F320090518 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1927435588

94. Groom drinks too much at wedding, dies http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE54O39H20090525 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1927373001

95. Man pushes would-be suicide off bridge http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE54O3BW20090525 http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1927309745

96. http://twitpic.com/60a7e - SITUATION Memphis, TN http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1927137131

97. http://twitpic.com/60a7e - http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1927122274

98. New Womens PLUS SIZE Ed Hardy Tees just arrived! And Mens Ed Hardy Tees up to size 4XL! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1886982852

99. Hurry in before it gets hot out http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1882835891

100. All Hoodies 75% OFF regular price today because its ugly as hell outside! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1882823825

101. Just don’t look ugly as hell when u check out and don’t try to be sarcastic, unless its funny, then u might just get that discount! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1878110443

102. Lots of NEW ARRIVALS to come blow a couple hundred on! Come by, try on a few outfits and just ask for a discount when you check out! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1878077318

103. It’s not Christina Aguilerra…..its Christian Audigier!!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1848419741

104. Oooh damn, they got that Greg Harvy here! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1848186689

105. First goons of the day….Ed Hardy Jeans….he asked when Ed Hardy came out…” It was bout 3 months ago right”…..rrrrrrrright! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1848133673

106. Just opened…..waiting for someone to come in and blow 10 grand on Ed Hardy! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1848070220

107. New Ed Hardy tees for women will be in Tomorrow and you get a discount on them by simply asking for one! Its that easy….we keep it simple http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1843590981

108. I wish I never ate that! I feel so sloppy! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1840045181

109. Listening to the Eminem Relapse Album on My Myspace….Listen Now! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1839633256

110. All Ed Hardy Watches and Wallets 30% OFF because I just said so……Jason! Today Only http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1839576287

111. Bout to eat some healthy Taco Bell….Cheesy Gordita Crunch…Nacho Supreme w/ no tomatoes and a Taco Supreme w/no tomatoes.I Hate Tomatoes! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1839515806

112. Watching OZZIE Live…..and he’s pulling his guitarists hair while he mercks the guitar! Funny as Hell! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1838889371

113. Smoking a slimmy http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1838797434

114. Check out our Facebook and comment our Myspace http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1838763657

115. Come to the Mall and let the Koreans punch jab and dropkick ur back…then smile in ur face n call it a massage! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1838664107

116. Just got in NEW Smet t-shirts http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1838587793

117. UGLASS http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1837682315

118. NEW ED HARDY SHIPMENT! WOMENS TEES AND LEGGINGS. MENS ED HARDY JEANS!! MOTHERS DAY RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1707107035

119. sitting on a plane with an old dude coughin his face off http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1698071827

120. argueing about simple shit http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1667735354

121. have you ever googled the word google? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1665769149

122. NEW SKY SHIRT JUST ARRIVED! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1663660497

123. Ed Hardy, William Rast, Affliction, Rebel Spirit, Christian Audigier, Hudson Jeans, Laguna Beach, Sky, Robins @ Situation Memphis, TN. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1640862814

124. EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS BUY 1 GET 1 HALF OFF UNTIL THE 30th!!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1640850121

125. Ed Hardy Fashion Show at Senses Saturday, April 25th!!!! Make Plans To Attend!!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1521815748

126. Day 26(Making The Band) just left the store…..theyre performing downtown tonght. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1493509869

127. 40% OFF anything in the store! You must mention this Twitter at time of checkout http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1470329209

128. Twitter Special! Today thru Thurs (Apr 2nd) 20% off any Regularly Priced Jeans in the ENTIRE store! Mention this twitter when you checkout! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1427332940

129. Sitting at the store waiting for somebody to come spend some money!! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/1312228953 Ready to help?

With a little time and programming knowledge, it’s fairly easy to make a comprehensive list of everything anyone has ever posted to Twitter.

Want to know if @TheTNSituation has ripped you off? Take a look at the list below.

(note: I saved his first 329 posts. He has posted a few since then—either more rip-offs and attempts to justify his actions. For some reason I had to break this into two separate posts. This is his most recent 200 posts. I will link to the previous ones in a separate post in a minute.)

DID HE RIP YOU OFF?

Want to do something? If he ripped you off, report him as being in violation of the Twitter Terms of Service.

To do this you need the original URL (where your post can be seen) as well as the URL of the stolen version, which is conveniently listed below.

OTHERS CAN HELP TOO

Recognize one of these but it isn’t yours? Paste the URL of the Original into the “Answer” field and indicate what number it corresponds to (1-329).

(Note: Tumblr will only allow one “answer” per person, so if you know more than one, you may have to shorten the URL to the original before pasting it into the Answer box.)

Every violation of Twitter’s TOS that we can confirm brings us one step closer to getting his account suspended. Since he has indicated he has no plans to stop what he’s doing, this seems to be the only option we have left.

(NEWEST ON TOP)

1. Call Ripley’s, my penis has mastered using a yo-yo. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3652662960

2. These internet scams must make it difficult for legitimate Nigerian officials to share huge sums of money with strangers. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3652184682

3. McDonalds let’s you get a double cheeseburger for $0.99, and add Mac sauce for free. Make yourself a ghetto Big Mac. Thank me later http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3651579893

4. The lines to get beer are as long as the lines to get rid of beer. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3640744303

5. I think I just threw up something I’m going to need later. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3640707048

6. Pro tip: If you fist someone with a watch on, there’s no making up for lost time. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3640564965

7. How come everything tastes like chicken…except vagina? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3640476578

8. I think there’s still time for one more famous person to die and be buried before Michael Jackson. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3639424436

9. I think the Confederate flag adds some panache to my mobility scooter. And the Truck Nutz let the ladies know I’m here to party serious. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3636392224

10. I have an imaginary friend called Awkward. Do you want to meet him? This is awkward. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3635286839

11. I just got hit on by my ex-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. It’s ok. Take a minute and wrap your mind around it. I had to. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3635121257

12. Hoohoo! Woohoo! Phew. [wipe] http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3634116217

13. Where would Jesus shop for insane discounts on quality name-brand products? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3633394801

14. Friend just told me fast & the furious is the best movie he’s ever seen. Obviously he’s only ever watched one movie. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3632925281

15. Have to pick my dad up at the airport later. Practicing my awkward father-son hug with a high backed wooden chair. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3630110790

16. Did you know that the office supply chain Staples is pronounced “stapples,” after founder and CEO Morton Staples? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3629712250

17. Happy birthday to Michael Jackson. He would have been weird today. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3628929722

18. A loser is just a winner with less ambition, friends, and marketable skills. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3623284070

19. NOT MUCH JUST EATING PRINGLES WHILE WEARING IN-EAR HEADPHONES http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3619739054

20. This is my freedom penis. You not sucking it, means you hate America. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3619330012

21. Judging from which keys are the dirtiest on my keyboard, I must type “NORP” a lot. Weird! Is that even a word? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3618475529

22. Funny prank idea: The Always Positive Home Pregnancy Test. Like those candles you can’t blow out no matter how much you cry and curse God. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3617524991

23. My kid’s got ADD so we’re thinking about sending him to one of those concentration camps? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3617073095

24. I’m turning 25 in a month and yet I still dress like I just got molested at Gymboree. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3615299768

25. No, son, you weren’t a mistake. Your mother did this to me on purpose. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3613497731

26. Touching the doorknob in a public bathroom is the same as touching a thousand cocks. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3612270937

27. Nice day today. Made an egg white omelet, worked in the garden, lied to strangers on the internet, wished my penis wasn’t so intimidating. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3611860754

28. If I mix pedialyte with whiskey, that’s a thing right? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3610833011

29. How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb? Maybe they should ask their parents to help OH WAIT! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3610335798

30. Fuck Yoplait & these damn lids that puke yogurt all over my hands when I open the container. I look like a teenager,searching for a tissue http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3609639778

31. “Everyone’s so, like, ‘Okay, yeah, whatever’.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3609194245

32. I like to make fun of orphans because their threats to tell on me are so adorably empty. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3608351303

33. The Sexiest Sentence Alive: “My breast flipped inside out so my nipple touched my heart.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3606610565

34. “Get back to the kitchen… and where’d you get those shoes.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3606172150

35. “If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3600742875

36. Spellcheck acts like it doesn’t recognize the word, “ass”. Silly Spell Check. It’s where your mom likes my dick. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3600115362

37. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I’m pretty sure it was that Taco Bell I ate. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3597918323

38. There’s no worse feeling than kicking ass all day and then realizing you forgot to take down names. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3594968118

39. This lady was all, “STOP PUNCHING MY BABY!” so I was all, [eyeroll] “Um, this isn’t yours.” Pfft. Like I would punch some stranger’s baby http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3594311688

40. Wait. People still rollerblade? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3591801313

41. The “Facebook of sex”? Does this mean my whole family will watch us bang? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3591604145

42. Black clothing and matching black accessories, black hair dye, mounds of black eyeliner. My neighbor is goth enough to shit bats. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3588562851

43. Last time I was in the hood it was in Old Navy trying on a really large sweatshirt. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3586290176

44. I like my whiskey like I like my sex. Alone and in the dark. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3586286963

45. We can kick it like a field goal. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3572719921

46. I prefer to think of myself as lactose open-minded. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3570791413

47. My neighbors are stealing my Wi-Fi. I’m changing the password as soon as I get out from under their bed. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3570048983

48. “Low sodium” just means “Ha ha, you’re scared of death.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3567709676

49. My girlfriend left her loofah in my shower. I’ve been using it, but I pretend it’s a balled-up chainsaw blade so I don’t feel as super gay. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3567532171

50. Dude- your dog has a popped collar! What’s that? I don’t care if he just had surgery, he looks like a total douchebag. “Woof woof, brah” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3567527355

51. Situation is closed: I’d LIKE to stop masturbating all the time, but these unemployment checks aren’t going to deserve themselves, people. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3548156568

52. She had the burrito. He had the fish tacos. They were both satisfied. Then they went out for dinner. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3547926535

53. After sitting within earshot of some high school kids at Subway I have learned that, ironically, “hellannoying” is my new favorite word. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3546292531

54. Today is not your day. Unless we’re talking about sex. Then it can be. If you want it to. Please? Shit. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3545216040

55. Remember, somewhere out there a fat guy is playing racquetball right now. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3544540254

56. I bet from far away it looks like this burrito is raping my face. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3543606335

57. You can’t teach children to appreciate sarcasm. You have to beat it into them. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3542947400

58. Mama always said “life is like a box of condoms, you never know who you’re going to fuck .” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3530208441

59. I wasn’t laughing AT you. I was laughing WITH everyone else. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3529201126

60. I wonder if it was really necessary to have that extra virgin work to make this olive oil. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3528471851

61. For every fun sex life there is an equal and opposite baby. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3526749030

62. If it’s common courtesy to cover your mouth when you sneeze, shouldn’t you cover you butt when you fart? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3526364547

63. Wait a minute! This is August! That wasn’t Santa! But why would a random stranger need to measure my penis? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3526005322

64. If I ever get divorced, it will be hard to look convincing when I tell my children they weren’t the cause. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3523113221

65. A giant spider just ran inside my treadmill and I can’t find it. So that’s my excuse, what’s yours? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3522607963

66. I suspect some of every cop’s confident charm comes from knowing he can beat you with a stick until you agree he’s confident and charming. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3522542172

67. Irony is an impotent sperm whale. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3521768717

68. I dream of a day when a confident Miss Universe contestant walks onto stage, eats a cheeseburger, burps, farts & gives everyone the finger. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3517665050

69. Just told my boss on the phone: I’m sorry, you’ll have to repeat that. You got way too hood just then. All I heard was “fried chocolate.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3517659863

70. Do these unironed pants make me look like I hate Mondays, work and life in general? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3516654540

71. I think “Jemima” should be a verb. As in “GET ME SOME WAFFLES AND JEMIMA DAT SHIT UP.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3506741131

72. Him: “Which side of the bed do you sleep on?” Me: “The top.” You’d think those mattress salesmen would be a little smarter. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3505652184

73. Gorgeous Sunday morning in the park. Drinking coffee, chatting with neighbors, watching a pug toss my dog’s salad. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3501456555

74. Abercrombie-ish hot guy was actually hitting on me until I used the word “album”. May as well have said “daguerreotype”. Or “literacy”. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3497672600

75. “So, I was, like..” is the new “once upon a time..” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3495486796

76. Check It Out. Commercial Appeal. Today. Memphis Most Winners. Situation. Best Boutique. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3495050577

77. If Burger King’s fries were any shittier, they’d have chunks of corn in them. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3486796810

78. One in three Americans weigh as much as the other two. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3484594242

79. You’re not fooling me, elderly janitor. I’ve seen enough Scooby Doo to know what a thieving fuck you are. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3484046199

80. Tweeting would sound cooler if you say you’re “mobilizing your internet posse.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3482547826

81. People still think you put your mouth on cock when you say “no homo”, its the ones that know you do that you should be worried about. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3481438924

82. I’m not obsessive-compulsive, but this toilet paper roll is on backwards. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3480360716

83. Courage is admitting the fart was yours. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3478702462

84. Trampoline sounds like a pretty name for a girl. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3478046214

85. If I liked people, you all would be the people I liked. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3477743479

86. I made the mistake of calling the H1N1 virus ‘N1H1’ in an earlier convo. I think we all know that if it was N1H1, everyone would be dead. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3476116279

87. I’m glad they pushed Michael Jackson’s funeral back another week because this whole thing has been feeling way too rushed. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3475594301

88. It is offensively hot. I am offended. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3475573831

89. i love you mom (no homo) http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3467018787

90. Blow jobs are part of God’s plan to stimulate and revive the economy. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3466633101

91. Babies are kinda like drunk people nothing they say is comprehensible, and you know they’re not going to remember what you say later. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3465873399

92. Look around. If you take anything you see here seriously enough to get upset about it you ARE DOING IT WRONG. Okay back to the fart jokes http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3465799444

93. Here’s where I give you an idea, & all I want is a free 1 when you make it: Are you ready for this? “Crotch Dehumidifier” You’re welcome. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3462787907

94. I don’t make bad decisions when I’ve been drinking, I make awesome decisions. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3460657884

95. I get so sad when I see roadkill. But then my tears soften my beef jerky. And then I’m happy! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3459821391

96. I want to live to see great-grandchildren. But instead of taking care of myself, I’ll just push my kids to get married at 9. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3458576079

97. Things you don’t want to hear after a haircut: “That took balls.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3457582861

98. Flip flops are the corduroy pants of walking sounds. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3457013778

99. Real men can order their coffee in four words or less. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3455021614

100. This guy’s looking at me funny. Status check: Booger? Nope. Open fly? Nope. Dorsal fin? Nope. All good. “What the fuck you looking at?” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3453254183

101. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that skinny white chics are good in bed. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3453243449

102. Things I hate: Injustice. Racism. Tyranny. Dog the Bounty Hunter’s hair. Skorts. Genocide. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3452745396

103. Never wear a company shirt to a gunfight. Especially if you work at Target. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3452694064

104. You got your still talking in my shut the fuck up. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3452615533

105. Tomorrow I’m conducting an experiment where I go around saying people look like Michael Phelps and seeing how many take it as a compliment. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3442414362

106. If you need to wear a bib while giving oral sex, you’re doing it wrong. Wait. Actually, maybe you’re doing it very right. I can’t decide. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3441881472

107. Testicles are the stand up comedians of the human body. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3440730906

108. Shared a moment with my son while we peed together. Years from now I look forward to bonding further by sharing a hooker in Vegas. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3439262321

109. Two words: No, wait five if you count them all oh god now it’s fifteen http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3436398618

110. Show your support by wearing your Refuse To Lose shirt, you don’t have one get yours from Situation! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3435935397

111. I put the sex, in sex with your Mom. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3435239980

112. The opposite of a baby crying is not a laughing baby: It’s a woman hula-hooping. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3435007079

113. “If you’re talking to me and I don’t respond, it’s not because I didn’t hear you. It’s because I don’t love you.” - communication expert http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3422077703

114. Some CNN reporter uses ‘just sayin’ as her tag line now. RIP : Just Sayin http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3414515487

115. He said, “Daddy, sometimes people say FUCK” and I felt such pride. “And that’s a BAD word”, he continued. I knew then he was adopted. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3412604778

116. I had this dream that Megan Fox was naked and feeding me food. Except it wasn’t sexual. We were just hungry. And it was laundry day. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3412021166

117. Uglass http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3411679290

118. Go to MEMPHISFLYER.com and vote fo your BEST OF Memphis 2009, including SITUATION WOLFCHASE as your best Mens and/or Womens CLothing Store! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3230914082

119. Fine. I let the dogs out. Happy now? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3119990159

120. Lady, if you don’t look at my hair & ask if my grandfather was bald, I won’t look at your crotch & ask if your grandmother was a camel. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3115825935

121. Birth control isn’t fool proof. Take yourself for example. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3111469151

122. My food pyramid is a triangle with extra cheese. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3110873805

123. Of all the days I hate most, Monday is my favorite. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3110399747

124. “I’m not ‘judging’ people, I’m ‘labeling.’” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3109810494

125. Why is it called breastfeeding and not babyfeeding? Okay ill wait until your done feeding your hungry breast a baby to ask more questions. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3108760944

126. Last night I worked up the nerve to tell the neighbors to turn down their music. Then I walked home as fast as my giant balls would let me. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3108149665

127. The good thing about living in a state of constant fear? No hiccups. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3107066853

128. I didn’t invent sarcasm, I just took it more serious than anyone else…we take sarcasm more seriously than anyone else. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3105515501

129. What if Adolf Hitler was “just being ironic”? We’d look like such assholes! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3089813100

130. Woohoo! I’m gonna be rich. Alls I gotta do is deposit this money order for Mr. Aui Jumbzi and he’ll do the rest Come Moday Coffee’s on me! http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3089494317

131. You look like I need a drink http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3082980940

132. Alright. I’m gonna hit the sack. But not too hard. I may want kids eventually. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3082745251

133. HAHAH LOL INSIDE JOKE WITH SOMEONE THAT IS SITTING ACROSS FROM ME OMG ROFL. YOU WONT GET IT. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3071470466

134. Today the job climate is partly shitty with a chance of drinking beer for breakfast and then going to careerbuilder.com and crying. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3060394275

135. My favorite utility is definitely my Internet connection. Sorry, Heat and Water. Call me when you have infinite tits. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3059492176

136. Twitter asks “What are you doing?” and people post thoughts. Facebook asks “What’s on your mind?” and people post what they’re doing. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3059092110

137. I think I speak for everyone when I say men who hit women need to get raped by a bear with a penis made of fire. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3058695134

138. If you get to call opposing abortion being “pro-life” then I get to call opposing stem cell research being “pro-cancer.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3058125351

139. Why do people walk so slow at Walmart? Don’t they know they’re at Walmart?” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3057788779

140. Liberty and justice for all. (Offer not valid for poor people, butt sex, kleenex and cunts.) http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3054780209

141. Bummed. I spent the entire afternoon thinking it was saturday. And Christmas Eve. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2953885024

142. I’m in the middle of a lightning storm. So I like to randomly point and if it strikes in that direction I say to myself “that’s right”. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2945304765

143. There’s no business like show business. Except prostitution. Or legal services. Or politics. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2933305475

144. My doctor said drinking coffee will cause me pain. But I’m afraid that my not having coffee will cause everyone else pain. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2932342866

145. Who has three thumbs and cries whenever you make one of those “Who has two thumbs” jokes? This guy. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2924402420

146. The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2912658536

147. It was nice seeing some of my neighbors last night. Let’s hope they didn’t see me. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2898205472

148. Needless to say, your mom was not happy when she woke up this morning while we were having sex. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2897916613

149. Yuck. Back boobs. Note to self: un-invent tube tops. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2897320800

150. Doughnuts go great with coffee. Starbucks has lousy doughnuts. Krispy Kreme has lousy coffee. The free market has failed us, comrades. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2891735471

151. Wasting a few minutes on the Internet to restore your concentration is like sleeping with your ex so she’ll leave you alone. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2885780600

152. Does this McGriddle make me look like a “before” photo? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2882264429

153. Most of the people I know who are into group sex are not so hot. It’s like a casino where they only let you play if you’re broke. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2876034342

154. Usually when a mom & her teenager have a fight it’s the teenager who storms off into the night in an unknown direction. Related:Where am I? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2875189786

155. The difference between a frat boy and a gay boy is the fit of their Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2875138782

156. Ed Hardy came out with a line of bottled water, you drink it and instantly have an orange tan, 2 nipple rings and well-manicured pubic hair http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2875058688

157. Asked my neighbour for a pot holder. She gave me a box of ziplocs. Note to self, future wife. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2874363008

158. I got 99 umbrellas but I can’t find one. Related: This is why white people aren’t allowed to write hip-hop songs. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2874311916

159. Fuck mondays in the ass with a Friday night swagger. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2873250748

160. Stepping down as governor so you can better help the state is like buying a giraffe to help you pick oranges. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2873166964

161. Pro Tip: If someone asks you if you “have a sec” and you answer “I have lots of secs”, they will forget their original question. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2872755400

162. Woman in 7-11 this morning spilled coffee, couldn’t get the ATM to work, then set off her car alarm. Would laugh at her, but it was me. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2872122138

163. Doughnuts go great with coffee. Starbucks has lousy doughnuts. Krispy Kreme has lousy coffee. The free market has failed us, comrades. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2872059018

164. Behind every great man is about three or four square feet of stuff you can’t see. #literalwisdom http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2871325737

165. Decaf coffee is like a hooker with just a torso. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2862772395

166. Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2860905292

167. Listening to women complain that they can’t get laid is like listening to water complain that it is thirsty. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2860245631

168. An obese janitor cleaning exercise equipment is like a blind janitor mopping up a strip club. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2859846294

169. Riding your bf bareback before going to an appointment at Planned Parenthood is like drag racing your car on the way to the body shop. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2859585893

170. Having a joke from Twitter bomb in real life is like when you try to take a shopping cart out of Target and the wheels lock up. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2859320029

171. Morning nookie is like receiving your paycheck as soon as you arrive at work. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2859287842

172. Maintaining a beard is like taking care of a dog that you wear on your face http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2859167849

173. HEADLINE: Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2859001001

174. Studies have proven that 6 out of 7 people enjoy gang rape. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2858623643

175. Going to Situation for the going out of business sale with no money is like being the cameraman at an orgy. Except it fucking sucks. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2858119346

176. Being caught with episodes of The Hills in your iTunes library is like being caught eating loose Cheetos out of a fanny pack while you cry. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2857909304

177. “Reading goofy Buddhist aphorisms is like eating photos of pie with a photo of a fork.” http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2857696619

178. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2857265604

179. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2856633964

180. Would the cat turn inside out? http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2850060566

181. Let’s say you stuff a cat’s tail up his ass until it peeks out of his mouth, and you give the tip of its tail a sound yank. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2850056494

182. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong.. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2849567513

183. Awful early on a Saturday to be getting hammered. I mean getting nailed. They’re really going at the banging. Aww shit, I mean CONSTRUCTION. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2844032726

184. He draws on her thighs and says, that’s fat. She grabs the pen and draws a circle on his belly. So’s that, she says. Then they start eating. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2842445365

185. Dear god, I know you’re really busy. But if you can spare some time, it’d be awesome if you gave that Progressive insurance girl a clot. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2841161396

186. Dear God, please don’t make me stop not believing in you. also, I really like your hair that way…short on the sides and…anyway. amen. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2832127173

187. 1 tube of KY-$3 1 box of condoms-$6 3 issues of “All Cocks” Magazine-$12 making the parents think your little brother is a gay -PRICELESS. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2831206442

188. When I meet women, I try to impress them with my good looks, dance moves and big dick. I have none of those so I just fix their computer. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2830660757

189. I really wish I’d invented a million dollars. People would probably pay me a lot for that. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2830628414

190. Look. I’m sorry about your pants. I only lit them on fire to prove you lied. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2824378930

191. The air was still. Not the slightest hint of a breeze. And so his fart just sat there, lingering, malevolent. And the tai chi class was over http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2822709220

192. The restaurant across the street has gone out of business. I will miss wondering how it stays open. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2822189930

193. Situation. Closing. Sale. Shop. Til. We. Drop. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2808768455

194. I just realized I’ve been sitting in a parked car for 30 min with my seatbelt still on. I put the “me” in lame. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2803448192

195. Jim is self-conscious about his man-purse so he fills it with manly things: condoms, beef jerky, a hammer. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2800302352

196. Uglass http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2799963500

197. This coffee could use a lot more Red Bull. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2799688914

198. ‘Mission Impossible’ should have been about two Mormon kids going door to door in Vegas. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2799268977

199. People who “just say no to drugs” are typically the ones I search for narcotics. Why? THEY TALK TO DRUGS. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2793412545

200. When the checkout girl is bagging up a handle of vodka and four pregnancy tests, I find a little wink really completes the moment. http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/2791032967

(part 2 can be found here.)

Ready to help?

“FYI, your stepsister closes up shop when you refer to her lady parts as ‘fourthmeal.’”

http://twitter.com/fireland/status/891075842 (7:07 AM Aug 18th, 2008 from web)

http://twitter.com/TheTNSituation/status/3660064866 (14 minutes ago)

He would like you to know this a great honor for you:

With that said…if you see your material on here hold your head up high knowing it was some funny shit. Goodtimes — @TheTNSituation

@TheTNSituation now has a private account. Obviously he has no intention of stopping stealing people’s content. He knows what’s he’s doing is wrong, and hasn’t responded to anyone who has called him out on it. (In fact I happen to know that he’s posted at least one more stolen tweet since he went private. I will explain how I know this later. I don’t want to tip him off in case he’s reading this.)

The only way to find out is to be one of his followers.

Of course if you’ve sent him an @reply calling him out on his stealing, he probably won’t approve you.

But, if any of you happen to have a lesser-known Twitter account that you think he might want approve because he won’t realize it’s you, wait a day or so and then submit your request to follow him.

You can submit screenshots of his posts. Be sure the whole message and URL is visible (click on the individual message). I’ll compile several (might as well wait it out to make it less likely that he’ll figure out who did it) before posting.

Or maybe it’s time to let this one go, knowing that it’s going to be hard for him to gain any new followers, and he will be shut out of Twitter search, Favrd, and Favstar for having a private account. So that’s something.

Let’s not forget that there’s a good chance that there are other people out there doing the same thing. Keep an eye out for them.

“Black clothing and matching black accessories, black hair dye, mounds of black eyeliner. My neighbor is goth enough to shit bats.”

3:53 PM Aug 27th

Exact same post from @TheTNSituation at 5:45 PM Aug 27th.